Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
