Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
someone owes me an orgasm
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
