Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
