dude i'm inner monologue high
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
