I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
