I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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