i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
