She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
