please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Randomize
