He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
