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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
