Dual....:-)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
