I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
