we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize