Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
