in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
