What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
