yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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