You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
