i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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