That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
