Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
