Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
