Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
