Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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