I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
