what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
