It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize