girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
