you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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