i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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