Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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