I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
