I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
