the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Randomize
