Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
