Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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