We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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