Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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