im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
