why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
