She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize