So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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