You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
