I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize