if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
