Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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