someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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