jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
