just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize