the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
