My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
