Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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