Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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