Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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