It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
