Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
