does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
