i was rollin on her like bob the builder
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
