Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
