I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
