Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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